Sleep (Day 21)

Even though I strive to be an emotionally expressive person, I still often have a lot of trouble showing emotion. It's still there, of course, and I acknowledge it and accept it completely, but there's definitely a part of me that is very reluctant to show that to others. In some very irrational way I'm afraid of my emotions being "wrong" or unfounded, not genuine. I doubt my self so much sometimes that I dismiss my emotions and tell myself that there's no use in getting upset or even moved over something so trivial.

Katawa Shoujo is a visual novel game created by a group of people from 4chan and other websites collaborating over the internet. I'll be the first to tell you that its origins are less than encouraging for me. I've never played a game like it before, but I've always associated visual novels (and especially those dealing specifically with relationships) to be little more than glorified pornography. However, this is not Katawa Shoujo. Though it does contain some awkward and less than titillating animated nudity, Katawa Shoujo is a game about genuine relationships. I was so convinced by the protagonist Hisao's developing relationship with Emi that the idea of replaying it to experiment with different story paths is painful to me. Their story together was adorable, relatable, heartbreaking, and wonderful. And it moved me.

I can't decide how I feel about it as a whole. The art is a little sloppy at times although the music is actually really varied and nice.  I still feel like the nudity is unnecessary and ruins my immersion, but I guess that could just be a personal hangup of mine. I doubt I'd say the same about a live action film, although it is worth noting that explicitly described sex in prose tends to rustle my jimmies, so that could definitely be part of it. 

I suppose I will have to eventually play through the other storylines (as utterly wrong as that seems) to get more of a feel for the game. It's possible the writing is more inconsistent than I imagined. There were a few lines that seemed suspect along the way, but I was impressed with the quality of the overall package. The game seems to have received a pretty positive reception overall, though a few dissenters have dismissed the prose as "bad." I could maybe see where they're coming from, but we have to consider the story is told from the perspective of a teenager... who is actually incredibly intelligent so maybe that's not really a fair point.