Sometimes (Day 4)

I have gotta do something about my shoes. My feet have just been in continuous pain the past several days at work and it's beginning to severely grate on me. The length of the shifts is completely tolerable to me, but my feet just hurt so badly. I'm tempted to start wearing my old shoes again (despite them being completely trashed) just so I can get through my work days.

Today was pretty uneventful but a thought occurred to me while I was speaking with a customer. Despite being an introvert (as discussed yesterday), I do crave human interaction. That doesn't really mean that I want to hang out with people all the time, but I love having discussions. These discussions don't even have to be in person, but I love having someone to bounce my thoughts and ideas off of. That's part of the appeal of Twitter to me, but there are only about two people that I regularly speak with. Regardless, two different customers made me think today. I was helping someone with some prepaid phone and I happened to know a lot about the subject since I used to work in Electronics at Walmart--and that's something I miss. I miss being a source of knowledge for people. I like to be able to answer questions and resolve situations. What does that say about me, exactly?

Another customer made me realize how I miss actually relating to people. Its so seldom that I have fulfilling conversations--I crave them. They sustain me and I wish it would happen more often. I have a lot of patience for discussions. If its something that interests me I'll just talk about it all day, but I never get that opportunity anymore. If I have any conversation at all, it's very brief and casual. I miss discussions that would play out over the course of an entire day when I worked at Walmart, with various co-workers. I might talk about Magic: the Gathering with one coworker, or maybe WoW with another guy I was playing with at the time. I just don't have that anymore.

I'm not sure how to fill that void. I'm sure I could find more people to talk to if I was more active on Twitter, or even reddit or League of Legends. I have my foot into a lot of different social networks, but I don't put forth the effort to make new friends. I guess I assume I don't have what it takes to sustain relationships with other human beings. I am as nourishing as a desert. I will forget to talk to people for months at a time because I am deliriously self-absorbed. I don't have any solutions to these problems right now but it's interesting to think about.