Autonomy Lost (Day 45)

I think I'd like to go ahead and get this entry out of the way, because there's a good chance I'll miss the opportunity if I don't fall asleep really soon. I'd like to stay up for a few more hours and watch day 4 of the LoL world championship. There's something about watching these professional games that is comforting to me. I think I just really like the idea of video games becoming a legitimate competitive sport. Instead of a test of athleticism, we have a test of mental acuity, reflexes, and strategy. It attracts a diverse set of people from all over the world of varying body types and dispositions. It's really cool to see all the different kinds of players.

On the other hand, I feel like I've devoted far too much time to League of Legends over the years. Since my ex's brother introduced me to the game about three years ago, I've played it just about every day since, with some longish breaks now and then. I've acquired an immense amount of game knowledge but my mechanical skills are pretty lacking. It's pretty frustrating that I'm not particularly skilled at the game despite having played thousands of matches. I can play every champion at a decent skill level but I can't put out results as consistently as I'd like.

It's a time sink, though. All the time I've devoted to the game is taking away from other things I could be doing--not that I'd be doing much else productive, but I could at least be making progress in games that I can actually finish. I feel a sense of accomplishment when I beat a game that LoL is rarely able to duplicate. It's so easy to just log on and play, but there's no rewarding sense of progression for me. In fact, ranked play is extremely stressful and puts me in a bad mood. The game has an extremely negative effect on my attitude sometimes, which is why I've been taking breaks more often recently.

I doubt I'll stop playing it for good, at least not while Riot is churning out new content. I'm too weak-willed not to continue investing time into something I've already invested so much into. I've spent an embarrassing amount of money on optional skins for the champions, too. I emailed Riot Support to find out exactly how much money I'd spent over the three years I've been playing the game and let's just say I don't wish to repeat that number here.