You could laugh forever but never end up happy. (Day 40)

Tonight's episode of Breaking Bad was soul-crushing. There's only two more episodes left until it's over, and I can't wait to find out how it concludes. I don't think I'll really delve into how I feel about the series as a whole until it's done. I've contemplated discussing the episodes as they come out on this blog but for some reason it never felt right to do so. I don't feel qualified to analyze them on a competent level because it's difficult for me to look at the big picture. I leave that up to others; I read a lot of analysis and form my opinions based on that. Meanwhile, I have a purely emotional reaction to the story as it develops. 

With the way my mind works, I don't spend a lot of time worrying about things like continuity and symbolism--though I love reading about them from other viewers who approach it that way. I've learned a lot more about the usage of foreshadowing, symbolism, and other elements of the plot from browsing r/breakingbad and I feel like that's enriched my experience. This is one of the first TV series that I've followed on a weekly basis. I've always been more of a binge-watcher. I watched Lost, Dexter, Six Feet Under, and many many sitcoms in marathon sessions, so I've never really been privy to what it's like to be in suspense having to wait a week for a new episode to air. Granted, I did have that experience after the conclusion of season 4 of Dexter, but what awaited me there was ultimately pretty disappointing.

I think I'll feel like something's missing once Breaking Bad is gone. I'd like to find something to fill that void, at least temporarily. The internet holds The Wire in pretty high esteem so I suppose I should try to check that out pretty soon. I've been meaning to watch it for a long time but I never really got around to it. The Sopranos is another highly-acclaimed series that I have some small exposure to, but I was never able to get into it that much. I might give it another chance one of these days if I'm in the mood for it. 

Speaking of Dexter, it's hard not to compare it to Breaking Bad. They came out within two years of each other and both deal with criminals who attempt to hide their crimes from friends and family members. In Dexter's case, his crime is murder, but if his extensive vetting methods are to be believed, he only goes after "bad guys." He has this primal urge to kill but ostensibly a strong moral compass--so he harnesses his urges for good. That's how his father taught him to control his darkness, after all. For Walt, his crime is manufacturing and distributing extremely pure methamphetamine. Money's tight with the White family and Walt believes he'll be gone soon due to being diagnosed with lung cancer. He commits what he feels is a necessary evil to support his family.

In its heyday, Dexter was quite good, although not entirely without flaws. It asked some pretty compelling moral questions. Dexter is a killer, but he only goes after those that have fallen through the cracks of the criminal justice system. Still, is killing ever an effective solution to such a problem? Is he only using these victims' status as criminals as an excuse to sate his bloodlust? As Dexter's bodycount rises and more and more diabolical serial killers terrorize the city of Miami, the viewer's suspension of disbelief is stretched to the breaking point. I think Dexter should have ended in season 4, and honestly I could take or leave season 3.

Comparatively, Breaking Bad functions as a much more cohesive unit. Despite the ending not being planned in advance (or so I've read), everything in the plot seems to work together. Characters change and develop over time. The status quo is challenged and episodes are very seldom irrelevant to overarching plot. There is heavy use of foreshadowing and symbolism. Much is implied without being outright stated, unlike Dexter with its incredibly heavy use of voiceover and "ghost" characters that function as Dexter's foils. Over the course of five seasons, Breaking Bad more and more seemed like it was marching toward a conclusion. In the case of Dexter, there is very much the sense of prolonging the inevitable. In season 2, Dexter was very close to being caught. That should have indicated that the series was heading toward an end, but unfortunately it was only just beginning.