Invisible Giants (Day 67)

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The fire before him roared as brightly as ever, its hot tendrils tickling the darkening sky. It showed no sign of dying, even as it devoured the length of wood serving as its fuel. The young man wondered if it would ever go out. Perhaps it would only grow until it engulfed the clearing itself, erasing any evidence he'd ever been there.

As he stared into those ghostly flames, he clutched the sturdy stick from before, on which a charred rabbit carcass was skewered. Though thoroughly cooked and quite edible, he'd eaten very sparingly. Under normal circumstances he would not have been able to contain his hunger, but the rabbit meat did little to sate the terrible emptiness in his stomach. It was like forcing poison down his throat; he ate only that which was necessary to survive. He couldn't enjoy it. He didn't want to enjoy it.

Flames danced in front of him, casting shadows over his pallid features, melding with the grime streaking his cheeks. He wanted to cast himself into that fire and accept his punishment. It would solve little, but it would put an end to his suffering. The First Priests of lore suggested that there was another life waiting beyond death, but the young man believed none of that. If his suspicious were correct, the end of life was much like the beginning--nothingness. Only a precious few days before, the young man was appalled at such an existential idea, even if it was what he truly believed. But now, he imagined it was the only way he'd ever find comfort.

As cowardly as he felt his retreat from Tombolin was, he did not truly believe he could choose to end his own life. He held onto hope that his journey into the Lakara Wood was not just a death wish. Just because he no longer belonged among his family and friends, that did not mean that he could not find another way of life. He was an adult now, and like his brother, he should be able to strike out on his own. Beyond the woods surely there was a place he could call home. A place where he could be born anew.

Despite being unable to enjoy his meal, he noted with some satisfaction that strength was returning to his body, slowly but surely. Perhaps tomorrow he could strike out beyond the clearing and finally reach the edge of Lakara Wood. Being unable to discover the purpose of the strange gray structure still stung, but he reckoned he could not stay in one spot forever. Although there was a source of water nearby, food was scarce. Just capturing the rabbit had been an hours-long ordeal in itself that he was not looking forward to repeating.

It might be a gamble to continue on in the hopes of finding a better location, but he couldn't forget that he had a secondary goal beyond just surviving. He wanted to make it out of those woods and make it on his own. He'd always hoped he'd be able to one day track his brother down and that he'd be proud of him. He felt an intense pang of guilt as he gazed at the unnatural flames again. He would probably never see him or anyone else he knew ever again. If he did make it out of these woods, he wouldn't be the same person. He would be born anew.

The young man rose to his feet, still not breaking his gaze on the flickering flames. "You are a part of me," he whispered breathlessly. "but I do not have to give in to you any longer."

The flames, as bright and hot as ever, had no reply for the young man. "Tomorrow I shall be born anew," he continued to no one in particular. "When first I awake I will no longer be the man I was. Tonight I cast myself into this fire and emerge as a new man." He paused, as if unsure of his next words. "My name. . .is Terakiel."