Shots (Day 82)

I'm finally back home, and we're already a few hours into Day 83. I'll have to write Day 83 sometime much later today after some well-deserved rest. I've really been getting into the habit of going on ridiculously long car rides over the past year or so. Every significant event in that time span involves me melding into a back seat while loud, obnoxious music plays. This particular trip had me wedged into a corner while sharing the seat with two other guys. It started out miserably cold and by the time we got to Florida, comfortably warm. By the time we returned it was milder on both ends of the trip.

The ocean was really fun but I wish I'd thought to buy swim trunks. Getting my normal clothes wet diminished the fun factor somewhat, but I still really enjoyed sitting on the beach in the warm sun, tracing shapes in the sand. It was tranquil and comforting in a way that I feel I can seldom experience here. This is my home; I've been here for my entire life and haven't left it for more than four months ever,and that was only a little less than a year ago. I'm still not sure I'm comfortable here or ever will be!

One aspect of the trip that I'm eager to forget is the punishingly terrible hangover I had when I woke up yesterday afternoon. It felt as if reality had become strikingly more solid; my surroundings were jarring, sharp, and uncomfortable. My nausea and damaged sense of self persisted for more hours than I can recall. We were on the road for many miles before I began to feel more like myself. There was at least one moment where I felt dangerously close to delirium with wild laughter escaping my throat involuntarily. And trust me, there was nothing really funny going on at the time.

As miserable as the eternal car rides might be, I love going to new places. I've been to Florida before, as a child, and I think I might have even gone to the same beach. Of course I don't remember any of it, so it still felt new and great. The water felt natural and familiar even though I haven't been in the ocean since then. The salty taste, the feel of the sand beneath my feet--it was all the same as before. I would love to return one day under better circumstances, well-rested and alert.