It's starting to look like I'm going to finally start playing Throne of Bhaal after all! I loaded it up earlier today and started playing, and felt like I might actually be able to get back into the swing of things. Assuming the release of Pokemon X and Y doesn't completely derail my attentions, I might be talking about it a little more over the next couple of days. Already I can feel myself getting sucked into the little plots that it sets up for you right away as you land in the walled city of Saradush, under attack by the army of Yaga-Sura.
It really is too bad that Icewind Dale didn't grab my attention. I would love to be able to say I've cmopleted all of the classic Infinity Engine games--a task I still haven't given up on completing. Planescape: Torment is definitely worth a playthrough. The only reason I haven't finished it in the past is because I've run into a slew of technical issues on my PC. I played it on a laptop for some time but its a piece of junk and overheats frequently. Hopefully I'll be able to work out those issues someday and play through it for real. In the case of IWD, I think I would be able to stomach it in a multiplayer session. It would be a lot more fun that way.
My original plan (from when I first started replaying Baldur's Gate) was to move on to Baldur's Gate II (which I finished) and the expansion (which I'm tackling right now) and then to play the two IWD titles. Since that's not going to happen anytime soon, there's still the possibility of picking up Neverwinter Nights, which I've actually never played. I've heard that the base game isn't too impressive, but it really picks up once you hit the expansions. I'd like to play NWN2 as well, but I'm not sure how well the game will run with integrated video. I'll have to do some research on that, but as usual, I'm getting ahead of myself. If things proceed as they have been over the past few months, I'll progress through Throne of Bhaal pretty slowly and it's completely possible I won't be in the mood for another similar game.
Even as penniless as I am now, I certainly don't lack options. My main problem seems to be in motivation; for some reason I can't just pick up a game and enjoy it for what it is. I lose interest a lot even if I like the game. There are countless examples of games like this in my backlog. Off the top of my head there is Lost Odyssey, a fantastic traditional JRPG for Xbox 360 that I stopped playing on the fourth and final disc. I really enjoyed the game; it struck me as a modern interpretation of SNES era Final Fantasy. The characters were interesting, the plot engrossing, and I thought Kaim's dream sequences (represented as segments of a novel) were some of the best writing I'd seen in recent video games.
So why did I stop playing it? I lost interest, for reasons that are a mystery to me. I frequently have a short attention span, even when it comes to things that I am passionate about. When it comes to things I'm not interested in, it's a titanic struggle even to focus. But sometimes, I really get in the zone. I'm very seldom aware of what brings it on, but when it happens, I embrace it. For an indeterminate amount of time, I'll become a being of supreme focus. Games are more enjoyable, I comprehend what I read better, and I'm more able to effectively communicate. The fog lifts, and I can see where I'm going. And this is not just about video games, or even just things I do for fun. It applies to everything.
I've talked about this state of mind before on this blog, but I'm still in the dark about what brings it on. In the past I've speculated that exercise helps create that feeling, but I've come to realize there may not be a correlation there. Exercise frequently makes me feel good, but it doesn't always help me concentrate. In fact, sometimes it makes it harder to think. The intensity of the workout is probably a factor there--but really, it all comes down to my mindset. If I'm feeling good when I set out on a brisk walk, there's a good chance I'll feel better by the time I return. If I'm not feeling well at all, the walk may just make me tired and irritable, and feel like a waste of time.
Even so, it would probably be a good idea to start walking again. I've stopped leaving my house for the most part. I'll admit it, I'm depressed and I'm not being proactive about getting better. I'm not doing anyone any good with my actions, least of all myself. Walking won't magically solve anything, but it'll get me out of the house. It'll get me some exercise I sorely need. And maybe, just maybe, it'll help me clear my head a little.
(Man, some of my entries have some pretty severe cohesion issues. But that's okay.)
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