Love As an Expression of Gravity (Day 140)

I feel like my writing has been very lazy lately, but I guess it's better to write something rather than nothing. I keep telling myself that I can go back and revise, but am I really going to do that? I know I have the potential to write something good, but I have to find a way to open up my brain, to get those neural pathways online. I have a vague idea of where I want to take the story--that's not the problem. As of right now I feel like the overall quality of the writing is poor. It's unexciting and basic. The only thing I'm somewhat proud of that I've written recently is the "tentative rewrite" of the Terakiel/Casnie scene. And I had to dig deep even just for that.

I think in the past I've felt inspired to write because I spent most of my day away from my computer. During that time while I'm working or otherwise doing something I'd rather not do, I let my mind wander and ideas just start to emerge. When I was in school I was very inspired and felt productive--but not about my schoolwork! During every class I would think about things I could write about. I would draw in my notebook or jot down things on my laptop. Sometimes it feels like inspiration only strikes when I get distracted by something else. It never comes when I'm specifically looking for it.

This is a good reason to start running again. Usually when I'm running I don't particularly enjoy it and I find it a little boring--but because there's nothing else to do in the meantime, my mind starts to wander. I get ideas. It's not like the "majesty of nature" suffuses me with inspiration or anything melodramatic like that--it's as simple as being bored and not having anything better to do. As silly as it sounds, that's when I come up with my best ideas.

I think when I go through my normal daily routine, I end up oversaturating my brain with useless information. I read countless threads on reddit, countless tweets, and otherwise waste a lot of time doing nothing. It's like busy work for my brain, except I'm doing it willingly--and it's hard for me to stop when I have it all here at my fingertips. On the other hand, when I have a job or I'm going to school, I don't have those options. Instead, I have to think of other ways to occupy my brain so I don't fall asleep. In these scenarios I end up coming up with ideas and for some reason I can better communicate what I'm trying to say in my writing.

I just feel like there's been no flavor in my writing lately. I describe what's happening in the most barebones way which is definitely not the kind of narrative I was looking for. I want colorful language--not pretentious, mind you, but not stripped down either. I think it might simply come down to putting more effort into it. I've been phoning it in a bit lately because well, let's face it, I haven't been in a great mood. I haven't lost interest in the story by any means, but sometimes writing can feel like a chore when you barely even feel like getting out of bed!

Another thing I could do to foster inspiration is to actually, you know, read. I literally haven't read a book in years. I don't know how I expected to be able to write without taking in the work of others. Unfortunately I am completely broke and the only kinds of books I own are really old YA novels and some fantasy like The Wheel of Time. Those aren't bad, but seeing as how it was the only genre I read when I was younger I think I'd like to broaden my horizons a tad.

Whatever. I'm sleepy. I'm going to play some Path of Exile and probably pass out for awhile.