Friday, January 17, 2014

An Eagle in Your Mind (Day 164)

I find that when I don't have an internet connection, I feel completely closed off. It's my only way to interact with the outside world. There was a time when this wasn't true, of course. I had phone service. I could text my friends, my girlfriends, the people in my life. And of course, I had access to the internet on the phone as well. My phone has been without service for a few months now. I do not have the money to pay for it. This is my fault. I need to be looking more fervently for a job. I've barely put in any applications. Since I heard about the Staples position falling through I haven't done a single thing about it.

I'm afraid, I guess. I'm afraid that terrible emptiness will fill me up when I venture out into the world again. How can one be filled with emptiness? It sounds like a paradox. Emptiness takes away what's already there--but it feels right to say, even so. So often I feel like I'm being filled up with this void. I remember an innumerable string of days where I would get up in the morning and drive to work in a haze. I would dread getting there and look forward to leaving. Once I got home I'd dread when the time came for me to sleep--because that meant I'd just have to wake up to work again.

I know there are people in this world that enjoy the work they do, but it seems they're rare. Is everyone unhappy? I would be lying if I said I never enjoyed a day of the work I did, but those days were certainly rarer. I think it's safe to say I'm not a good worker. No matter how hard I try I can't seem to put my heart into it. I'm always cutting corners even when I don't mean to do so. Then it creeps up on me one day--I'm slacking off. I'm not being productive. I was trying to be productive but I just wasn't.

I've met a lot of people from working at the various jobs I've held. Some became friends, some became acquaintances--but for the most part I've lost contact with them. Maybe we come into contact occasionally on Facebook, but for the most part I have no interaction with them. Why is this? Why do I devalue human social interaction so much? I realize it's important and I enjoy the company of others--to a degree. I greatly enjoy having stimulating conversations with likeminded people but so often I default to a state where I spend most of my time alone.

It's easier, I think. When I'm alone I don't have to worry about how someone else will react. I don't have to impress anyone. And who has more in common with me than. . .me? That's what this blog is for, I think. It's like having a conversation with someone of like mind. It's a self indulgent writing exercise that somewhat makes up for not having anyone to talk to.

That is not to say that I never have conversations with anyone. That's definitely not true. But--it's still not quite what I want. Maybe I find myself attracted only to aloof and socially closed off people. After all, that's how I am. The kind of people I talk to--they so often slip away before I've even realized it. Secretly I want to connect on a deeper level but it doesn't happen. I don't take that step. It's too much to ask. I imagine that no one is prepared to accept that burden.

Sometimes I want to discuss things exhaustively, at length. I want to discuss it to death. But I don't, because I have to take the other party's patience into account. They're not like me, I think. They're not content with a discussion that requires so much of both parties. I feel like I need it, though. I can't tell them that because we're not close enough. I'm not close enough to anyone.


I've been in a couple of relationships over the years. Each had their ups and downs, of course, as all relationships do--but unfortunately, I still felt as if I had no one I could really communicate with. Not on the level I wanted. We might talk for hours and hours but it was mostly the result of the bizarre haze of infatuation where everything your new partner says is the most interesting thing you've ever heard. Once it fades you must get to know each other as you really are. And that's when I have historically realized that I can't communicate with these people in the way I'd like--even when we share that level of intimacy.

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