I am stressed out today for a variety of reasons, but now that I have time to sit down and watch the LCS, I'm starting to relax. My problems haven't disappeared, but I'm more easily able to put them into perspective. Today was disheartening to me because I approached it with a very positive attitude. I went to work in a good mood and was determine to do my best at my job. I ended up with a couple of activations and renewals for my trouble, but they were very difficult and complicated cases and I required a lot of help from my manager and co-workers--the latter of which were perfectly willing to help me.
When I went to take my lunch break, my card was declined at Walmart when I tried to purchase a bottle of water and a chicken wrap. I was puzzled by this because I'd checked my bank account just the night before and I'd had 37 dollars in there--not a great amount to have lying in your bank account by any means, but enough to live on for the next few days. I figured I'd be fine until I get paid on Friday, but as it turns out I had a check for $75 scheduled to go through that I'd forgotten about. It went through and I was charged a $35 overdraft fee. I wasn't able to get my food and now I was in debt to my bank.
This sort of set the tone for the rest of the day. My next customers were tremendously difficult to deal with not because of their attitudes, but because they presented me with a series of tasks I wasn't at all familiar with. I asked my manager how best to proceed and she let me know what forms I needed to fill out. I followed her directions to the letter, but I kept coming up with new problems--and when I needed her most, she'd left the building to go to the bank. I was left in the unenviable position of attempting to assure my customers things were progressing while I was essentially sitting there waiting for her to return to resolve the issue.
I don't care to go into the specifics because I'm tired of even thinking about it at this point, but suffice to say that it was a frustrating problem. I'm lucky that I only ended up leaving work 20 minutes late. I was stressed out because of my overdraft but also because I'm far from confident in the stability of my job. If I don't meet my numbers for this month (as far as selling goes) then I'll likely be let go. This is really distressing to me, because it feels like it's constantly being held over my head. It doesn't strike me as a very potent motivational tool.
If I lose this job, I'll have to go back to the job hunt and there is little else I despise more than that. I'd also be in pretty dire financial straits while unemployed. I've more or less resigned myself to working at a factory if I do end up without anywhere else to go. I know I'm not exactly cut out for that kind of work, but it might be time for me to bite the bullet and work wherever I can to make as much money as I can. I have debts to pay off and peace of mind to acquire. Once that's accomplished I can concentrate on getting a job that's more tolerable.
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