I missed writing an entry last night because I was out really late and was super tired by the time I got home. It makes me wonder if I should commit to some kind of 5-6 day a week schedule for this blog. It's inevitable at this point that I'm going to miss a few entries here and there since I've been making much more of an effort to get out of the house lately. Of course, I haven't been to the gym in some time now. My last experience there scared me off a bit.
The first few times I went to the gym, it was very early in the morning when traffic was very low. Most recently, however, it was positively choked with people. Every treadmill, every elliptical, and most stations in the place were in use. I found a machine for which I have no name and did some crunches with resistance from the weights attached to the machine. After I'd finished there, I was unsure what to do. My usual machine of choice is the treadmill, because walking and/or jogging has always been the exercise I'm most comfortable doing. All were taken and I felt very strongly that I was being watched and judged the entire time I was there. It didn't help that I was outfitted in very inappropriate clothes for working out--jeans, a t-shirt, and a hoodie. I don't really own any clothes appropriate for working out as far as I know. I committed to buying some workout clothes and returning once I'd purchased them, but it's Sunday now and I still haven't done anything about it.
I will return to the gym as soon as I possibly can. That's a promise I've made to myself and I intend to keep it. I'm determined to continue to lose weight and get in shape and I have to imagine there'll come a time when my diet is not enough to maintain my progress. I weighed in yesterday at 233, a full three pounds of progress since last week. I think I'm starting to see the effects of my weight loss in the mirror, but it's still pretty clear that I'm overweight, albeit not obese. I'm sure that regardless of the amount of weight I lose, I'll still appear pretty doughy until I get serious about working out. I've made tentative plans to go shopping with my cousin sometime this week. I need new shoes for work, clothes more appropriate for the warmer weather that's coming, and of course, workout clothes. I'm going to take care of that and put together a pretty firm schedule for going to the gym. I need to do more research on how to use the various machines there because although my uncle instructed me on the use of a number of them, I'm still pretty lost on how to proceed. The treadmill is good, I suppose, but I don't think it's going to be enough.
Realistically, I think I'd like to commit to going to the gym three days a week--with the understanding I should attempt to go more often if at all possible. I'm not comfortable with going in the afternoon when things are busiest, but maybe after I drop a few more pounds and start to feel more in shape, those insecurities will begin to evaporate. That's a big part of what this whole thing is about, after all. I want to feel better about myself and more secure in my own skin. Health is very important, too, but I have to admit it's secondary to that.
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