A New Day One

It has been one year and seven months since the last time I updated this blog. Where did the time go? What have I done in the interim?

Well, the answer isn't so glamorous. I haven't really done much of anything.

Okay, well, granted, I've played a lot of video games during that time, but for whatever reason, I've completely stopped writing about that. I document the games I've completed on Backloggery (for the tenth consecutive year now, wow) but my thoughts and my reactions to these games have not been recorded in any way. This is a huge change from a couple years ago, when no game I played went without some form of a documentation, whether it be a review, a brief blurb of my thoughts, or even a full-on video presentation. Admittedly, it was pretty exhausting sometimes to not only devote all of my free time to playing games but then writing about them as well. It occasionally left me with less time to actually play the games I was interested in.

But there was another part to it too. It's always been difficult for me to shake the stigma that video games are somehow less legitimate than other art forms. Why spend so much of my life on something that is ostensibly a waste of time--a leisure activity that is sapping away time from my life that could be devoted to other pursuits? I could be writing fiction, exercising more, broadening my horizons. And that's all true. But now that I'm not writing about the games I'm playing, it's not like I'm suddenly doing those things. I'm still playing the games and I'm not doing anything to comment on them or channel that activity into anything more productive.

I really enjoy writing and I miss spending time on it. I miss having the outlet to express my thoughts, reactions, and feelings to the things I'm doing in my life. Sure, I may never take this writing exercise with me to a platform that elevates my station in life--but should that really be the point? Shouldn't the act of writing and honing my craft be a reward in its own right? I believe that to be true. I strongly believe that writing, even when it concerns something as "trivial" as gaming, enriches my life. It flexes my creative muscle and keeps me mentally awake. I have been accused on a number of occasions (and in moments where I have a moment of self reflection) that I spend a lot of time in a haze. I don't want that to be the case. If I'm playing a game or consuming any kind of media, I want to be aware of what I'm consuming and what it truly is as a form of art. I have things to say! If I didn't, I wouldn't feel such cognitive dissonance when I spend so long without having an outlet to express it.

I spent a lot of time on writing and creating videos and worried so much about reaching an audience. It's nice to have an audience but I truly don't think it should be my goal. The joy of doing it should be enough. The exercise of writing and flexing my creative muscle is enough. I'm not comfortable with self-promotion. Maybe that will be a goal again someday but I think it's important at this point to simply start--to start again. I'm just going to write. Starting from today, I'm going to write as much and as often as I can. I want to set a goal of writing every day, but I know that may not always be possible. But I'm going to give it a shot.