The Problem of Finishing Games

I have a palpable need to finish games. This has been true for a long time, but I know it wasn't always the case. I have vague memories of abandoning many games as a child, only to resume them years later. I can think of one specific instance where I finished FFVII, VIIII, and IX in one weekend because I'd reached the end of all of them and lost interest. I can't even imagine that happening to me now. If I've put a significant amount of time into a game, I'll make sure I finish it. Sure, there are rare exceptions, but for the most part I tend to follow through.

I've been wondering lately, though, if that's really the best way to do things. I catalog the games I finish on Backloggery and I think it's a big part of why I treat games the way I do. Every game I finish is filling up this invisible progress bar I have in my mind. It's satisfying when I finish several games in succession, but I also feel because I hold myself to finishing games, I sometimes end up spending more time with game I don't like all that much. I doubt I would have finished Mega Man ZX or ZX Advent if not for my need to systematically complete series and document the games I've beaten. Would I have subjected myself to playing through the entirety of Persona 2: Eternal Punishment if not for my need to document beaten games? Probably not. At the same time, though, I acknowledge that not finishing it would have left me with a sense of tremendous anxiety, because the plan all along way to play it first as part of a Persona marathon and not playing it to completion would have soured the whole experience for me.

Of course, there are games that I didn't particularly care for that I decided not to invest time into finishing--but sometimes I think about them and consider revisiting them just for the sake of completion, just so I don't have a game in my library that's sitting there, unfinished. I think of the ludicrously difficult Nioh, which I've barely made progress in. I think of Bloodborne, so universally lauded and critically acclaimed. I have trouble engaging with these games but I want to force myself to finish them just so I have that context to enrich my perspective on the gaming zeitgeist. And maybe I'll learn to like them? It's happened before. Like I've mentioned on this blog, I once refused to even give shooters a chance.

Even with games I like, I think it's probably time for me to acknowledge that I don't necessary need to play all the way through to still consider it a positive experience. I really love FTL and suffer anxiety at the thought that I may never actually finish a run of the game. I've made it to the final boss several times but am thwarted every single time. I still enjoy the game up to that point. Maybe that should be enough? I really want to get back to XCOM, which means I'd want to play XCOM 2. I played probably through 90% of Pillars of Eternity and have been considering repurchasing it on PS4. But is it necessary when I've already experienced so much of the game? What if I want to play Pillars of Eternity II? Do I necessary need to go back and play through the original in its entirety? Logic says no, but because of my tendency to obsess on the documentation and completion of games, I instinctively want to.

Forcing myself to play through games isn't always a negative experience, though. Yeah, sometimes it means I play all the way through games I don't like all that much, but it does often leave me with interesting impressions and a deeper understanding of certain things. I like to understand why people like certain games or certain aspects of games. I still don't completely understand Dark Souls/Bloodborne but have invested a decent amount of time trying to figure that out. Is it necessary to continue when I'm not totally feeling it? Probably not, but that doesn't stop me from wanting to do it. Nier Automata is sort of another example. It's hard for me to justify playing through that game multiple times to get the full experience but I still frequently consider going back to it even if I'm not necessarily having fun.

I think it's all about my motivation. If my motivation is to create something from my experience, then it's okay for me to continue playing even when I'm not feeling it. Maybe I'm wanting to write a review or need the context for some sort of writing project. But if I'm just trying to tick a checkbox or up my number of games beaten, then I'd say it's safe to say I can give myself a break. That gives me plenty of wiggle room, I think.